The Birds Are Out in Full Force at the Church Office Building

I’ve grown accustomed to wearing nylons all day. That is, without fail, the first question everyone asked when they found out I was working at the COB. Even my mother asked me that. I thought it was going to be a difficult adjustment but, yeah, not so much. I also enjoy wearing skirts. I’ve always enjoyed wearing skirts. We went to sacrament meeting while we were in Smalltownville, Southern Utah. I wore a black, just below the knee pencil skirt that zipped and buttoned in the back (my favorite skirt). When we got back to the house I found it odd to take off my skirt so soon. I’ve adapted to the skirt.

I find it interesting that the church has corporations. Like the Corporation of the Presiding Bishopric and the Corporation of the President. I guess when you’re working with millions of dollars you need to be under the corporation umbrella. In other words, the church isn’t a small business.

The church also invests money. That I didn’t know. I work on the 15th floor of the COB in the Department of the Treasury. Across the way from my area is the Investment Securities Department. I asked the Investment Securities Department secretary what they do. She said they take the Lord’s funds and invest it in stocks and bonds. Real estate investment is in a different building. I asked what the church invests in and I got a list of what the church doesn’t invest in (dang, I want to know what to invest in). The church doesn’t invest in caffeinated products (people think the church owns Coca-Cola), tobacco, alcohol, guns, gambling, and adult entertainment. Not a big surprise. There were other questions asked but I can’t talk about those…super secret stuff.

Now, working at Global was a learning experience for me. I grew a lot and I learned a lot. I’ve found some differences with working for the church and working at Global.

I haven’t been in my own car since Friday morning. Thank you discount Adult Transit Pass.

When I came in for my interview at the COB I saw numerous people walking in with their large ounce mugs full of some type of drink (I’m just going out on a limb and say Caffeine Free Diet Coke). At Global, almost everyone walks in with coffee.

We all get to wear church clothes every day. At Global, not so much. In fact, when I wore a skirt to work everyone asked me if I had an interview. “Not today,” Allison would put in her thought cloud.

The profanity had definitely been curbed. I still hear some profanity but not as much as when I was at Global.

I don’t feel judged when I decide I want to read conference talks, the recent Ensign, or my Book of Mormon while I’m at lunch.

Twice a week I see facilities maintenance workers in waders cleaning the reflecting pool on the Main Street Plaza. I’m not sure how often the grass was cut while working at Global. In fact, I don’t care how often the grass is cut at Global.

Now, this is my favorite difference between Global and the COB. At Global I worked with aggressive high maintenance people. At the COB I work with passive high maintenance people. Let me explain.

If I was doing something wrong at Global, I heard about it. In all actuality, I like to hear when I’m making mistakes or bothering someone then I know how to make things run more smoothly. This is what I like to call the aggressive high maintenance people.

At the COB there are passive high maintenance people. Let me explain. In fact, here’s a case and point. I was going through returned checks for Cheryl the Reconciler. I needed to look up the unit number and write it on the back of the check. I asked Cheryl the Reconciler if I could ditch the letter that the checks come with. I needed to keep them attached. Simple enough. Staple the returned checks to the letter. I get through my whole stack, staples and all, and I take them to Susan, who apparently is frazzled enough. I put them on her desk and told her that they were from Cheryl the Reconciler.

Susan’s eyes become as big as saucers. She says, “That’s not how I like them.” A statement. That’s all she said.

My head tilts to one side. “How do you like them?” I replied.

“Well I would rather have them (insert a very complicated way for me to have these returned checks). I can fix them, don’t worry, I can do it.” I really think she would have liked to say, “You screwed up my system and now I have to do lots of extra work.”

“Okay. If this is the standard that you like then that is how you’ll get them every time.”

“Well, you don’t have to do it that way. How you’ve done it this way is fine. So, this is fine, this is fine, but this is how I like them done, but you can keep doing them how you’ve done them.”

“What do you like?” I ask getting slightly annoyed because she’s not making a decision.

“This way.”

“Then that’s how I’ll do them.”

I took the stack back to my desk to fix them. On my way I hit my head with the returned checks a couple times. This then spurred a whole conversation with Cheryl the Reconciler about the difference between passive high maintenance people and aggressive high maintenance people.

I think this is a great example about how we have been raised in the church. Don’t offend people. If it requires you to do extra work then so be it. Be of small voice.

Conversely, am I doing what I've been socialized to do? Just throwing that out there.

This really bothers me on so many levels. If I screw something up, tell me. I think I am adaptable and cooperative enough to learn the system and change what I need to do to not be a feather ruffler. It takes a lot, and I mean a lot, to offend me. Taking staples out of papers doesn’t offend me. Now, say something about how you enjoy beating your wife, you’ll probably get my point of view…no, you will get my point of view. But come on, staples?

I think my favorite phrase around here is, “Oh, that’s okay.” No, if it’s bothering you, it isn’t okay. If you need clarification we can certainly do that. Saying that you don’t understand or something isn’t quite gelling really helps in the long run. Once someone gets trained to do something one way and a month down the road they are told that it is done a completely different way breeds frustration. I can just imagine (insert the gossip and the talking here).

All in all, I think it was a good move. The Salt Lake Temple is finally open again. Now I can do work before I go to work!