I'm Jaded, You're Jaded, Let's be Jaded Together

I just finished watching the documentary Thin and I was about to watch the film Once, Academy Award winner for best original song by the Frames, when the urge to blog hit me. I've been devising this post for about a week and a half.

If you can't tell from the title, this will be a post about members of the opposite sex. When I think I've got a good thing going for me, POW, right in the kisser.

Backstory.

We just got home from Afghanistan. My Sergeant Major says, "Sabo, I'm going to introduce my son to you. He needs to meet some good girls." Henceforth, we will call him the Sergeant Major's Son. We meet. He takes me to see Children of Men, not for the faint of heart, especally during the last bit of the movie where there is a very intense and extremely accurate urban combat scene. Completely off topic. We hang out a couple more times. No big deal. He just got back from his mission, he needs to live life, right? Yes, he does. This is why it's not a big deal that we lost contact for more than a year.

Story.

Spring Semester 2008. After a long series of unfortunate events about an extremely stupid English class that I'm required to take eventhough I got an A in 2010, the Sergeant Major's son and I end up in the same Political Science class at Salt Lake Community College. We start chatting before and after class. We chat during class. He even convinces me to go to see Gogol Bordello with him (Start wearing purple, wearing purple. Start wearing purple for me now. Your insecurities will all vanish, I promise, if you start wearing purple for me now). The flirting has increased. Lately, we've been finishing eachother's sentences, saying the same thing at the same time, wanting to make the same comments in class. I mean, will you give me a break? He's political, he digs music, he has a cool dad that likes me, he's good looking, he's smart, he reads, he goes to church. (Is it a coincidence that this falls into my lap right at the same time I start asking Heavenly Father about dating again?)

Defying all things the church has taught, I got my tarot cards read. "So, Margaret Ruth, there's this guy (insert the rest of the story here)."

"Allison, I'm getting a really wierd reading here. Well, I'm seeing that you have a very strong psychological connection with this guy, strong spititual connection but there isn't anything that's going to come from it. He's holding onto something. There's something he's hiding from you. But there's nothing that's going to come from this connection." I shrug. Meh, we'll see.

The very same week we're chatting outside class as usual. He brings up this girl (red flag #1) so I lay it out. "Are you dating somebody, Seargent Major's Son? You can tell me."

"Not technically dating per se. We've been on and off for the last eight months."

"Okay. So are there issues with this girl? Are you jaded? Are you upset because she's not paying attention to you? Is she young? What is it? Let's get to the root of this problem. If you've been on and off again for eight months what's stopping you from taking me to dinner?"

"It's not that simple. She has a condition."

"Condition?"

"Yeah, a condition (nodding his head, giving me the wide googley eyes)."

My jaw drops. I felt my face drain from my forehead to my chin. "Did you get her pregnant."

Silent head nod. He busts out with, "You never knew me in high school." He's right. I never knew him in high school but his dad did. Why else would he want to introduce his son to a good girl?

I have absolutely no idea what to say next besides, "Well, let me chew on that. I've got to go to class. I'll see you Monday." We give eachother our customary high five and go our ways.

Now, I know I've been attracted to assholes in the past, but this guy seemed like a real winner (please look at above mentioned awesome things about the Sergeant Major's Son, except for the whole getting a girl pregnant that he's been on and off again with, pun intended). I know I'm jaded, I know I'm extreme. But there's this phrase: once bitten, twice shy. Okay, when does it go into twice or even thrice bitten?

I know it's a physiological thing about dudes not being able to keep in in their pants. Isn't there some higher source that someone can talk to about their weaknesses? What am I thinking, of course there is. Isn't there some sort of covenant young men make when they are 19 and about to go to Brazil to serve the Lord for two years that can help them to keep it in their pants after they get home? Oh, yes, there is.

I'm taking my books and I'm going home.