Actual Telephone Conversation
My phone rings - "'Why do you waste my time?' is the answer to the question on my mind. I'm sick of all your judges..."
Allison: This is Allison.
Ryan: This is Ryan...your home teacher...from about nine months back.
Allison: (Long pause) Still got nothing.
Ryan: You went of vacation and I picked up your mail.
I haven't seen this guy in almost a year. What am I to expect?
Allison: Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. How've you been?
Ryan: Well, I called to ask you a question.
Allison: Okay.
Ryan: I was reading my journal and I was wondering...
Allison: Okay.
Ryan: Do you remember Danielle? What ever happened to her?
Allison: Well (long pause) she got married this passed summer.
Ryan: Oh. That defeats the purpose of me trying to get ahold of her then...so, how have you been?
HA!
The rest of the painful three minutes was a blur (oh the awkward that drips) until the moments before I pushed the red for end button on my phone.
Ryan: It was nice to talk to you.
Allison: Good luck to you.
posted by Creativity Escapes Me at 22:55
10 Comments:
You are the queen of "Man, what does it take???"
11:52
[Chester remembers a phone call or two he's made that went much to that script. He shuffles uncomfortably in his chair.]
We men can be incredibly stupid, insensitive creatures. Sorry.
13:55
I think it's funny we saw this DB at the concert. Ho ho ho bag.
16:35
I've been trying to figure out why this conversation bothers me so badly.
I'll have to get back to you. It's really bothering me.
17:09
It's probably bothering you b/c the db read through his journal (which probably has unicorns and fairies on it) and felt the need to call someone he no longer knows to get the number of some girl he "felt right" about and thought it could lead to marriage. I bet it was his hormones talking, stupid boy. He could have lied at least! "Oh, I just wanted to know because I was thinking about people I haven't kept in contact with very well, like yourself!" "So Allison, how are you? I know it's been a while but you're freakin' rad and I wanted to make sure you knew that." "Is life treating you well?" "Sorry I haven't kept in contact like I probably should've b/c you're, well, freakin' rad!" "If you ever wanna hang out, you just say the word and I'll grovel at your amazingly beautiful feet." "Whelp, have a nice day!" Something like that probably would have went over better. What a DB!
21:52
"...lead to marriage"
*Sigh*
Girls are such complex, romantic creatures. Men are way simpler than that.
Allison, I don't know what the proper etiquette is with this sort of thing, so I hope you don't mind me recommending a blog I wrote a week or two back entitled "Secret Mens' Business" It might help. (If you mind, delete the comment. No offence will be taken.)
20:09
Your blog is great and the conversation is very entertaining. But I am also liking awright13's thinking about what lead up to this conversation:
He's lonely. Praying for help finding "the one". He's feels he should read through his journal and finds the following entry:
"Today I home taught Danielle. She's so hot, I could hardly keep my eyes closed when we were praying."
And he thinks to himself. "I wonder if she is still hot?"
He closes his unicorned journal and picks up the phone...
07:54
You know, I was thinking: When you meet a young man, you should imediatly direct him to your blog.
After reading over your past misadventures in dating, he will know a) what you are expecting/not expecting - and b) that if he screws up, he will be imortalized here along with the other dorks.
07:57
Maybe you need to starts www.dorklist.com where girls can go to put info on their really bad dates.
Oh. Wait. Someone's already thought of it. (Go rent a movie called "Amazon Women on the Moon").
17:01
I like gatsby's idea.
21:00
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