Flowers.

I am an Iris What Flower Are You?

"You are a very sensual person. You like to experience all the sights, smells, tastes and textures the world has to offer. Ordinary be damned, because you want to do it all."

This one comes from the loving mind of Chester. I enjoy his antics.

All in all I think it's true.

Mishaps and adventures all in day one.

I think it just started out bad.

My sister and her husband came over to play card games with me last night. We put in Clue as background noise and went away. It was very fun until we looked at the clock. 11:30 PM. Holy crap. I have a cab picking me up at 5:30 to go to the airport ($12 minimum). We said our goodbyes and I got into bed. Like a kid before Christmas I couldn't get to sleep. I was so excited to be going to Denver for the New Year that I didn't get to sleep unitl 1:00 in the morning.

The alarm clock goes off and a phone call shortly thereafter. It's 4:00. Who could possibly be calling me at this hour? It was Orbitz.com informing me that my flight was due to take off on time. I knew that. I got out of bed and couldn't shake the feeling of needing to go to the ATM to get some cab fare. I go to Smith's and withdraw $120 ingoring the feeling for me to withdraw $220.

I get home and pack. That seems normal since I didn't do it the night before. I beautify myself and go outside to wait for my taxi. I'm only waiting a short time when I see him flip a U-turn to come retreive me from the light dusting of snow. He takes me to the airport ($12 minimum). I hand him a Jackson.

I get in line for check-in making sure the line I am standing in is the line for check-in. Success. I would hate to be standing in the wrong line. Done that before. The time is now 5:45 AM. My flight is scheduled to depart at 7:00 AM. The line seems to be moving at a pace above lethargic. A nice man in a fleece vest informs us that there is a kiosk to check-in. All we need is the credit card that we puchased the plane ticket with.

Sold.

I retreived my wallet from the depths of my bag and search through the card holder. No card. I look again as if the outcome was going to be different. Still no card. I realize that at my 4:00 AM withdrawl of funds I left my ATM card in the machine. It was one of those machines that sucks your card into it. Don't worry. They can still check you in using your ID. Great. But I have no debit card. I'm not about to turn around and go back to the bank because the card is gone.

I check onto the flight noticing a few "beautiful people" checking in using their United First Class Gold Medallion Plus Club Membership. I then walked to the very long line to go through security. They successfully find no weapons on my person. I place my boarding pass in my mouth so my hands could be free to collect my things. I start walking forward when I hear a voice sternly say, "Watch out." I almost tripped over a little who, who was no more than two.

I apologize my head off to the who's mother. She said, "Don't worry. He wasn't looking where he was going when he was crawling around." To which I responded, "But I had my ticket in my mouth and I couldn't see down. Again, I'm sorry." We parted ways.

I ask a secruity guard if there was anywhere in the airport that would cash a personal check. No such luck.

I start to stroll to my gate and see that it is open. Are they boarding already? The ticket said 6:40. It's only 6:15. I get up to the gate and they are calling for final passengers to go to San Francisco. The "beautiful people" were rushing their way through the not so busy 6:00 in the morning airport to make their flight to the Bay Area. They held the entire flight up for them. Please note: They got to the United First Class Gold Medallion Plus Club Membership check-in line before I got to the standard check-in line. I received my boarding pass, made it through security and to the gate at least 10 minutes before they were holding up an entire flight of people wanting to make it to San Francisco...on time. I think this is a little selfish, but that's me.

I board the flight and think all is going according to plan. No such luck. We were 15 minutes passed our take-off time and we still had to de-ice the wings.

The landing in Denver was as smooth as a hot knife through butter. We were supposed to land at 8:18 AM but we didn't land until 9ish. All the while Ashley's mom is circling the pick-up area.

I get to the house. I marvel at all the snow that has fallen and is still falling the Denver area. I get on the horn and ask what I am to do about my debit card. The bank teller says that the card will be destroyed. I let him know that I will be in Denver until the 1st and ask him if there is any way the bank can wire money to an account in Denver Western Union style. He said that is something my family would need to take care of for me.

I go to the Western Union website and find that the only for me to pick up money is with my bank issued debit/credit card which is currently in pieces in the Zion's Bank in Smith's on 900 East.

Yes, this is my life.

If only in my dreams...

25 DEC 2004

It was required for me to go to work that day. On every holiday I would email my address book, "Happy/Merry (insert paid holiday here). We work so you don't have to."

The Lieutenant had to fly that morning so he made me promise I wouldn’t open presents without him. I waited patiently for his return. We distributed presents to the company and we went back to our Christmas tree and opened presents. Santa (Jeremy) brought me a robe. A purple robe that I wear all the time.

Jeremy and I went to dinner in the Dining Facility. They had turkey, cranberry sauce, ham, breaded shrimp, steak, potatoes, rice, steamed vegetables and gravy. We got our plates of gluttony and set them on the table. We walked passed buckets filled with ice and bottles sparkling apple cider with a real cork. Each of us grabbed one. We also noticed tables of pie.

Apple pie, cherry pie, pumpkin, mince meat, pecan, the list continues. What better to go on pie than whipped cream? At each table there was a can of whipped cream. The kind you shake and it makes the cool noise when you press the nozzle at an angle. The kind you always sprayed into your mouth while your parents weren't looking. Did our eyes deceive us? Real whipped cream?

There was one Facility worker that was in charge of replenishing the empty cans with full ones. Jeremy and I had two cans between us. There was more whipped cream on our pie then there was pie. That was the first bit of whipped cream that I consumed since Thanksgiving the year prior.

I awaited my turn to call my mother and father.

I called my father first. I was in our company phone booth for at least 20 minutes fighting all the other soldiers that were calling their families and waiting for a phone line to the United States. When someone picks up the line on the other end that is your signal to close the phone booth door and start the 15 minute time limit. I sang a song for my father:

I'll be home for Christmas. You can count on me.
Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree.
Christmas Eve will find me where the love lights gleam.
I'll be home for Christmas. If only in my dreams.

After my father wiped the tears from his eyes he wished me a Merry Christmas.

Repeat scenario for my mother. Only while I was singing to her, I cried. I told her I wished I could be home for Christmas but it just wasn’t in the cards. She understood.

I was home for Christmas in my dreams.

I was six years old again. Coming upstairs from my room and seeing my Christmas presents wrapped in the paper I chose out, The Flintstones with a blue background. I remember seeing the rainbow quilt that my mother made at my grandma's house so we thought Santa brought them to us. I was so excited to get a new quilt that I wrapped myself in it. I remember nothing else from that Christmas but the wrapping paper and the quilt.

Abruptly, I awoke snuggled up to the rainbow quilt.

PAPER CLIP

I'm in the Army. I have until April. Then I'm almost out of the Army.

While we were in Afghanistan my intel guys decided to add an acronym to our brains that were already filled to the brim with acronyms.

People
Against
People
Ever
Re-inlisting

Civilian
Life
Incentive
Program

PAPER CLIP was months in the making. The moment I heard about this program I had to be a member.

I talked to Sergeant Butler, who was the first member of PAPER CLIP. He let me join.

"Repeat after me. People against people ever re-inlisting."

"People against people ever re-inlisting."

"Civilian life incentive program."

"Civilian life incentive program."

"Welcome to PAPER CLIP. You must now wear this somewhere on your uniform. It's best under the pocket then you won't get in trouble."

I placed the prize on the underside of my left top pocket. I also told as many would appreciate the new found awesomeness of PAPER CLIP.

All one needs to do is promise to never re-inlist and be told by someone that is a member of the program.

Sometime in April I am going to throw a PAPER CLIP party.