Computer Code Writer Dude

Budlight presents: Real Men of Genius.
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you Mr. Computer Code Writer Dude.
(Mr. Computer Code Writer Dude)

Without you we would have no blog, no internet, no email.
(How would I communicate?)

You invented phrases like : MIS, packet sniffer and petabyte.
(I don't understand you.)

Is that the Windows startup tone I just heard? You must be going to work.
(Woah, the startup tone.)

People come up to you and say, "I don't do computers. Will you fix mine...I'll pay you?
(How much?)

You can type 80 words per minute. That's fast.
(Click, click, click.)

Dot com, technogeek and Internet Help Desk are household terms.
(Geek and nerd used to be insults.)

So crack open a nice cold one for you the commando of the keyboard.
We be diggin' your style.

Anheuser Busch.

Dating V

I must be attracted to jerks.

Case and point.

A week ago I asked my new interest out for New Year's Eve. I was on cloud nine. I thought I had this date in the bag. I get ahold of him last night and ask him if he was still game. His reply, "I will probably need to go into work."

Allison became the mad dialer last night. Mad like insane not mad like angry. After checking my extensive phone book, the self-conersation went a little like this, "Alex is in Minnesota, Ammon has a date, Dallas is too old, Jimmy is in Ogden, Lane is hot but hung up over Abby, Preece is in Logan, Richard is gay, Will is in Richfield."

Then I thought about a mutual friend, Erica. She introduced me to her friend. I called her last night with my delima. I believe it was, "So I need (insert name here)'s number because I believe he is the only guy in town without a date for New Year's. So give him a little ring so he doesn't freak out when I call him."

15 minutes later I had a date to the ball.

It will be nice to hang out with him. We've been talking as of late about being jaded when it comes to the opposite sex.

Inconvience

I spent $40 on an adapter to plug my iPod into the wall. I get it home, excited to use it and to my horror...too strong...disappointment the firewire does not fit into the adapter.

Noodle puzzlers.

When the snow melts, where does the white go?

When the bus driver leaves the bus, who closes the door?

What is the sound of one hand clapping?

If a tree falls on a mime in the middle of the forrest, does he make a sound?

The mega-holiday

Festichristmahanakwanzaakah.
That's how they say it in Spain.
Festichristmahanakwanzaakah.
In German in means the same.
Festichristmahanakwanzaakah.
Norwegians say it too.
But any way you say it,
It means Festichristmahanakwanzaakah to you.

Have a Festivus miracle
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy Kwanzaa

Or if your agnostic take out the Festichristmahanakwanzaakah part.

Birthdays

My dad's birthday is tomorrow. He loves Cubs baseball anything. Every year I get him the same gift: a Cubs ballcap in his size, seven and three quarters. There is this great shop at Fashion Place Mall that sells different caps all year round. Every year they are different. He loves every single one but never wears them. Two years ago it was a white one with a red C. The year before that it was Cubs blue with a red C with a little cub on it. One year it was the Spring Training cap. This year it's all black. He doesn't think he collects things but in reality, he does. He collects Cubs hats...by default.

More song lines.

So these are just from Dashboard Confessional. I think the man is brilliant!

You're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights. The Brilliant Dance

This apartment is starving for an arguement, anything at all to break the silence. Saints and Sailors

Which of the standard lines will we use? I've been meaning to call you. I've just been so busy. We'll catch up soon. Let's make it a point to. Standard Lines

Another wasted night, the televison steals the conversation. Again I Go Unnoticed

I'm careful not to wake you. Fearing conversation. It's better just to hold you and keep you pacified. Bend and Not Break

Defense is paper thin. Vindicated

So turn up the corners of your lips. Part them and feel my finger tips. Trace the moment, fall forever. Vindicated

There's not a word that I comprehend except when you sign it, "I'll love you always and forever." Screaming Infidelities

Dating IV (subtitled the AAR)

AAR is an Army acronym for After Action Review. After a mission there are certain questions the Army needs answered so they can better conduct missions in the future.

Hi, I'm Allison, you might remember me from some AAR's like: The Helicopter Crashed Let's Find Out Why. And: Chow? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Chow.

Today's AAR is entitled The Date Heard Round the World.

You ask yourself a series of questions.
1. What went right?
2. What went wrong?
3. What could you have done better?
4. What could have others around you done better?
5. If put in the same situation what would you have done differently?
6. How did your training help you?

Take your time. There are no right or wrong answers. But really, there are right and wrong answers. Take question 6. The answer is always "If it wasn't for my training (fill in the good part of the misison here)." But we are here to talk about a date. Is there training for a date?

Anywhoo. Thanks for participating in todays AAR.

Damn the Army always making me think...like I'm in the Army.

Song lines.

The best song lines in the history of all song lines.

1. I've done the math enough to know the danger of our second guessing. Schism, Tool

2. I won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down Soncho's throat.
Santera, Sublime

3. Less concerned about fitting into the world, your world that is. Only, Nine Inch Nails

4. The very last one in a very long line. DOA, Foo Fighters

5. Now that I've seen you, I don't think your worth a second glance. Rapid Hope Loss, Dashboard Confessional

More to come.

Jobs.

A call back for an interview is the best feeling ever. That's beside the point of this entry. I got into a small tiff with a co-worker this week. I can't even remember what happened to be honest with you. I felt bad about it for a couple days. We had to band together Saturday night in order to calm a customer down. Something about a spiral ham that was supposed to be cooked but wasn't cooked. He had to tell a fib. Which, if he didn't tell me about it, would have put me on the spot if ever asked about said fib, which wouldn't be a fib to the person asking about what happened...oh what tangeled webs we weave. After I told him I'd play along I called him back and apologized. I think the exact words were, "I really don't know what the hell went on but I'm sorry. We're friends." He was cool and he apologized too. I feel a lot better.

Let this be a lesson to you all. Don't lie.

Oh wait. Let this be a lesson to you all. Apologize before you loose a great friend.

The search continues.

The job search is going good. I've been called back by a company called Cosmo Store Services. They hire overnight employees to set and reset store shelves. Some lifting required. It is based out of Seattle and sends employees atraveling to all the western states. Some traveling required. I don't know what that will do with my social life as if I have one already. Wish me luck.

Dating III

Good news everybody. He's the one that contacted me. So in my dating experience that says he wants to spend time with me. Worth it.

Dating II

I need to make up a numbering system. One good unit shall be called a snu. One bad unit will be called a bot. Think Dr. Seuss. If the snus outwiegh the bots I tell him I had a great time and can't wait to do it again. If the bots outweigh the snus I wait for him to get in touch with me.

He is really into music. That is two snus.
He has perfect eyes. Yet another snu.
He paid for dinner eventhough I think I'm the one that asked him out. Three snus.
He is kissable. Two snus.
He knows pop culture enought to hold his own in a conversation with me. Two snus.
He makes me laugh. Three snus.

He didn't open doors for me. Two bots.
He describes himself as a self-centered egotisicial asshole. Two bots.
He keeps his ego in check by putting himself down. One bot.
He likes country music. One bot.
He can't make a decision. One and a half bots.
He talked about an old relationship. Two bots.

Now I add...

Hold on this might take a minute..

Patient...

Wait for it...

Snus=Thirteen
Bots=Nine and one half

The next part of dating etuquette, the day after contact.

Dating I

It can never be easy. Yes, Allison dates. I have a date in 45 minutes. I still need to vacuum my apartment so I can make a good first impression. He has known me all semester. I'll let you know how it goes.

One more.

I'm looking around at the students frantically finishing 15 page papers that are due in 12 hours. I'm thinking to myself, "Ha, no finals for me." In some creepy wierd way I wish I was one of them. I wish I was developing an ulser because I couldn't understand a physics class. I wish I was going prematuraly grey because I couldn't find the right way to express my instructor's opinion about 18th cenutry art. I wish I was loosing sleep over a paper I've written and rewritten and rewritten. I'm a sick sad person.

In looking for a new job, one needs to be cautious.

I really hate looking for a new job. My resume is filled with nothing but grocery. I have worked grocery since I was 19. For those of you that can't subtract, that's 4 years...well, 3 years...I didn't work grocery while I was deployed. My father made me promise I wouldn't make grocery a career. Look at him. He is...how old is my father...46. Dad has been working grocery for 30 years. He is a humble meat cutter...AFTER 30 YEARS!!! Monster.com has good leads, most of which are insurance sales. Not my bag, baby. Hot Jobs has cool things, most of which never email me back. Well, I'll go on this interview on Thursday and hope for the best but expect the worst, are they going to drop the bomb or not?