Creativity Escapes Me: March 2006

Taxes, getting back what's rightfully mine.

My taxes are usually filed by the first week of February. Why did I wait so long this year? Read on to find out.

I worked for an independent grocery store, The Store.

My interview for Meier's Prime Meat Department consisted of, "Allison, you need a job? I'll hire you for $9.00 an hour. Start Monday. Bring this application and a resume with you." So formal.

I worked for this establishment from 12 JUN 2005 to 20 JAN 2006. Marsh, my big boss, told me my W-2 was in the mail. The middle of February rolled around, no W-2. Curious.

I get my dad on the horn. "Did you pick up my W-2?" I asked

"No. Marsh said he sent them out already," he replied.

"K."

I waited, like a fool, I waited.

Second week of March.

"Marsh, I never got my W-2. Do you have copies of it?"

"I'll get right on it."

Third week of March.

"Marsh, I need my W-2."

"I'm sorry, Allison, I'll ask Dixie where it is."

The last week of March.

"MARSH, I NEED MY W-2!"

"I found it. Come on down and grab it."

All the while I'm leaving voice mails with my phone number asking him to call me back. He never called me back. I was talking to a few guys a work about this.

"You can sue him."

"I know. That would take all the money I would get from my return."

This is the first time I'm doing my taxes without the help of a professional. I'm afraid. As I'm running into the Post Office I know my envelope will end up in the audit bin like Homer's did.

I'm doing my taxis...texas...taxes tonight. I should get my return my the middle of July.

Dating VIII...the blind date

The phone call came.

"Allison, my brother invited me to go watch Shark in 3D and go to dinner. Wanna come? There are dates involved."

"I'm in."

"Be down to my house by 7:00."

I looked at my clock. 6:22.

6:23 Enter shower.
6:27 Exit shower.
6:45 Exit apartment.
7:12 Arrive in Sandy. Not bad I say.

What are my qualities when one is setting me up?

"My friend, Allison, is devilishly clever and obscure. Openbookish and honest."

Let us just say, I haven't been on a blind date for a while. Now I know why. Is it just me or do they seem to be the worst dates anyone can ever go on? You know nothing about eachother. You're in every sense of the phrase a fourth wheel.

Handy.

Dating VII

I called Chris* to see if he wanted to go hear some live music. A thread we share. We go see LoveRunner, a Salt Lake City local band. I know the heterogeneous instruments player. We show up and take a seat on some sofa-like chairs and chat a bit. One band starts playing. I want to go stand in the ballroom to become part of the music. Chris doesn't. I stay seated in hindsight regretting my decision. No sooner than the band starts playing, Chris pulls out his phone and text messages someone.

Whoa. What is this all about? Mr. Allison I Want to Hang Out With You More, is overtaken by the expensive clock in his pocket?!?

He excuses himself from the sitting area and I am left...alone...to listen to the unnamed band (I never heard their name). Expression on my face: unnerved. He comes back while I'm in the middle of texting Michelle...an eye for an eye. What does he do? Sprays binaca in his mouth. It's almost cliche. I laugh, hyserically.

LoveRunner comes on. I make my way to the dance floor. I warn Chris that I get really into live music. Dancing, yelling, throwing things on the stage...I've never done that but one of these days. In the middle of their set Chris excuses himself...again...to go find earplugs. I understand his concern but we were listening to at least 20 minutes of very loud music before LoveRunner took the stage, no excuses. Left alone...again. He comes back just as the set is ending.

I say hi to the heterogeneous instruments player and introduce him to Chris. By then Chris has gone from "potential" to "no chance." We promptly leave.

All Chris was good for was the ride to and from the Union Ballroom.

Why must it be so insanely difficult for two members of the opposite sex to find eachother? Why must manners be thrown out? What kind of society are we living in where it is kosher to be out for the evening and be talking to someone other than the date?

I don't I need to count bots and snus on this one.

*Chris is his real name.